omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
