I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was born a porn star she said
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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