dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you have to choose: penises or morals?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize