This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
