no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
