DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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