One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
