fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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