I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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