I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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