is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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