i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
