The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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