Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
