she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
