it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is Oprah even human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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