Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
