I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
