Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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