My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
