It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
