maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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