...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
