By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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