How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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