i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
