Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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