Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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