3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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