Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you would pick up someone in the library
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
