would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Im part way to drunk.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
