Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
