508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
