i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
