Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
