I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
