Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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