I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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