Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
