So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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