this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
