3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
