this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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