Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
