Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
