i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
zippers are such a cool invention
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
