Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My pussy is not your playground.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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