oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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