I like to think it a success when the cops are called
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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