What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
