who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He better not be in your backpack
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
