My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
