When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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