It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize