It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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