imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
