Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
