You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
