my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
