Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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