Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
